FEMINISM: MERINGUE WITHOUT SUGAR
Meringue. Airy, delicate, built on precision and patience. It needs sweetness to hold its shape.
Take the sugar out, and it collapses into something dry, fragile, and bitter.
So too with feminism.
When we strip it of empathy, humility and balance - when we chase power over purpose - it loses the very essence that gave it rise.
This isn’t an attack. It’s a reflection.
On what we’ve gained, what we’ve lost, and what it means to fight for equality while forgetting the tenderness that first gave it meaning.
"Roots of Division"
Susan B. Anthony was an influential social activist. A key organiser of the women’s suffrage movement in the19th century. Sojourner Truth, once enslaved, became a powerful speaker for abolition and women’s rights.
Two women. Same vision. Different worlds.
Yet history shows that even in the pursuit of equality, hierarchy crept in.
There is evidence that Sojourner Truth was often marginalised or silenced by some white feminists of her time, including Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
After the Civil War, the women’s suffrage movement in the US fractured along racial lines. The 15th Amendment (1870) granted voting rights to black men, but not to women.
Sojourner Truth fought for universal suffrage, for all humans.
Anthony and Stanton, however, opposed the amendment because it excluded women, sometimes using racist rhetoric to argue that educated white women should not be denied the vote while “uneducated” black men received it.
At the 1851 Women’s convention in Akron, Ohio, some white women objected to Truth speaking, fearing that aligning with an outspoken black woman would harm their cause. She spoke anyway. Her “Ain’t I a Woman” speech echoing through history. Courage where others showed cowardice.
This tension persisted. Anthony’s association often sidelined black women’s voices, reflecting a broader pattern: prioritising white women’s enfranchisement first.
Do we see the hypocrisy?
"Modern Mirrors"
I was listening to a comedian.. and she said “Am I feminist enough for some feminists? It’s not an easy group to please.”
Somewhere along the line, feminism got a bad name, and lost its unity. It may be time to redefine it or simply redefine humanity and ethics.
The comedian continued to echo in my thoughts:
“Women, over half the population on this planet, can’t seem to organise ourselves”…
Or support each other enough to make meaningful change. How about we focus on us, not men? Because, sometimes, we are our own worst enemy.
The attitude of exclusion that silenced Sojourner Truth still lingers. Not as overt racism, but as competition, judgement, jealousy that springs from insecurity, and lack of solidarity among women. The labels have changed, but the essence hasn’t.
I too have been faced by women who had a “beehive” mentality. A collective sting aimed at excluding another woman. So I became an observer of their behaviours.
Witnessing the root of why women are not bringing the positive change into this world that I know they can.
Allowing insecurity and their own trauma to manifest into the biggest discriminator.
So remember this if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. Rise above it. Do not engage in their self-inflicted competition. Their sting.. is merely skin deep… Pray that self-awareness will eventually land in them and be open to forgiving. You don’t have to allow the sting near you again, but forgive and move on.
So tell me. Are we not each other’s worst enemy? Are we - women - not some of the worst discriminators? Are we truly feminists? Or extremists? Are we informed? Or ill-informed? Are we creating the inequality ourselves?
Are we so incapable of uniting and addressing our own insecurities and “animal kingdom” instincts, that we can’t be kind to each other?
How do we expect men to treat us better, when we don’t respect each other?
My role in society is not to pass moral judgment, but I can explore the unintended consequences of our female stance in society and life in general. It’s part of my journey. It’s part of your journey as a woman too.
And if you are a man reading this — don’t stand by. Respect yourself enough not to feed the division among women, nor the quiet destruction of our society’s emotional and empathetic spine.
If we want equality, we need to begin with our own integrity. True education is not a degree; it’s the ongoing work of refining our empathy, our manners, and our humility.
"Power, Pay and Perception"
Today, the conversation often turns to pay gaps. And yes, they exist.
The UK’s median gender pay gap stands around 6.9% rising to 15.2% for higher earners. At major firms, the disparity is sharper; McKinsey & Company reported a 22.8% mean hourly gap in 2024, even while claiming “equal pay for equal roles”.
But are we fighting the right battle?
Some research suggests men negotiate harder, ask for raises more often, and pursue leadership roles more aggressively. They demand. Women often don’t; not because we lack ability, but because social norms still punish us for assertiveness.
The tragedy is that women are often forced to compete using “male” traits; aggression, dominance - to be taken seriously. And when we do, we are criticised for not being “feminine enough”.
What is the point of equality if it demands we erase our nature of nurture?
The pay gap isn’t proof that women doing identical work are always paid less. It is evidence of deeper social patterns. The gap narrows slowly, but the structural and cultural roots remain. Many women move into part-time or flexible roles to care for children, and yet society still measures worth in salaries and titles.
We say we want equality, but we chase fairytale weddings, houses, and ideals sold to us as markers of feminine success. We criticise women who don’t follow the script. We chase the product we were sold. We created our own stereotype.
"Balance, Not Battles"
Maybe the goal isn’t equality everywhere; maybe it’s balance.
We don’t need a world where everyone does the same thing; we need one where everyone is valued for what they bring. There may never be many women in bricklaying, and that’s fine. The issue isn’t sameness, it’s appreciation.
Women and men should be collaborating, not competing. We should play to our strengths; balance, empathy, reason, creativity.
The problem with many movements - feminist or otherwise - is that they often evolve into the very thing they were born to resist. In fighting oppression, they create new hierarchies. In chasing justice, they breed resentment.
From sexism to feminism, from racism to reverse racism - we swing from extreme to extreme.
Why do we find balance so hard?
"Ethics and Humanity"
Before we speak of equality, we must speak of ethics.
We are not just women or men. We are humans.
If our activism lacks empathy, it becomes extremism in disguise.
And men who entertain this, have felt a mother’s rejection and cruelty.
We have corrupted the word freedom - “I’ll do what I want because I’m equal” - without asking what equality is for. We have confused liberation with indulgence, and power with moral worth.
Extremism in any form alienates. It divides.
And while we fight at opposite ends of the table, the few at the top feast on our division.
If 28% of men think sexual jokes at work are acceptable, that shows bias - yes. But women hold biases too. We all do. The answer isn’t punishment - it’s conversation. We don’t need moral superiority. We need curiosity. We need balance. We need healing.
"The Call to Reflection"
Change starts at the core. In how we treat each other.
Before demanding societal transformation, we must show compassion in everyday life.
So next time you find yourself competing with another woman for male attention, step away. Don’t entertain it. That, in itself, is complicity in the sexism we say we oppose.
And when you lead, lead with grace. Respect the women around you. Speak up for them - not just your friends or clique. True class isn’t in a posture. It’s empathy in action.
We don’t need more movements. We need a shared moral compass.
Let’s join up in healthy, ethical values - and find peace through them.
The Meringue Without Sugar"
You can make meringue without sugar. But it won’t be as glossy, fluffy, or light.
So why do we, as women, take the “sugar” out of our nature to fit into a mould?
Why not embrace the qualities that make us beautifully human; empathy, tenderness, and balance?
Why not lead from our ethical centre instead of our wounds?
Why not only have one movement in this world; that of humanity?
I speak as a woman.
Men have their own reflections to make, and perhaps somewhere between the two, balance will emerge.
Do not listen to me as truth.
Ask your own questions. Draw your own conclusions. Stay loving in the process.
I want women to rise. For each other. For future generations.
For the good of the world.
All my love,
- One More Sentence -
Beat the whites until they hold.
Meringue without sugar,
is only air pretending to be light.
It crumbles when spoken to,
collapses at the weight of truth.
Whisks into weapons.
Grace into ribbons.
In a world that is brittle.
Instead of heat, I want heart.
Instead of volume, I want voice.
Instead of structure, I want softness.
Meringue without sugar
is divisive bitterness.
Meringue